We've Had Better Days

J.R.

“ There is hardly anything in the world that some man cannot make a little worse and sell a little cheaper, and the people who consider price only are this man’s lawful prey. “ John Ruskin. 

Ruskin was predominantly an art critic but he could easily have been prophetically  referring to our football club under Roly’s ownership as a Victorian masterpiece. 

Seemingly as each day passes matters only seem to get worse. Here’s the post-Peeters  timeline :- 

Sunday January 11^th – Bob Peeters sacked. The club reveals it hadn’t crossed anyone’s mind to relieve Big Bob of his duties until Roly was wringing the turkey’s neck ahead of his Sunday roast.  

Monday January 12^th – 20 applications to supercede Bob are received. The club announces an exhaustive search for a long term replacement. All 20 applicants interviewed and What A Guy Luzon emerges as the clear favourite. ( Guinness Book of World Records are contacted to see if the world speed interview record has been broken ). GBOWR confirm no as their work comes under the non-fiction category.  

Tuesday January 13^th – What A Guy is announced as the new “ head coach “ on an 18 month “ long term “ contract. Such vision is acknowledged as Specsavers emerge as the club’s new sponsors. 

Wednesday 14^th January – What A Guy ! Luzon is unveiled to an excited pack of the world’s media. No one expects the Spanish Inquisition and the journos present didn’t disappoint. However, some gentle probing sees Katrien let it slip that Roly wouldn’t want to waste his time by attending the press conference or even put his name to a statement of any kind. She remains firm under this stern interrogation steadfastly refusing to name any of the applicants other than What A Guy.

Understandably even their nationality cannot be revealed as to do so would ensure that confidentiality would collapse like a pack of cards. No one wants to deter a decent manager from applying for the head coach position in the future. They’re all chomping at the bit to work under Uncle Roly and who’d want to jeopardise that eh ?

For his part What A Guy raises the spirits of the Charlton supporters by stating his credentials. There’s a jaw dropping moment when Guy reveals that he once spent a week in Manchester watching Sven Goran Eriksson coach and it immediately becomes clear why he emerged as the clear favourite. Even the most sceptical Addick is now 100% behind the new manager.  

Thursday 15^th January – Friends reunited as What A Guy takes his first training session. The Sparrows Lane session is a little longer than usual as everyone catches up on what they’ve been upto since they got sacked err I mean redeployed. Ladbrokes announce that they’ve closed the book on Charlton getting into the play-offs. On a Charlton Life thread some latecomers reveal they only got evens but are more than happy with this and are looking forward to a week in the sun on the proceeds. 

Friday 16^th January – The football world is shaken to its very foundations as news reaches S.E.7 that What A Guy hasn’t got his work permit. All Addicks wonder what effect this will have on team morale. Yoni Buyens tweets that it won’t change anything……..phew ! 

Saturday 17^th January. What A Guy is in the stands at Vicarage Road and witnesses the new head coach bounce at first hand. Then the game kicks off and oh dear ! The 5-0 defeat and performance, the worst in recent living memory is the direct result of the work permit issue. Bloody Home Office !

Ladbrokes announce that they’ve closed the book on Charlton emerging in League One in 2015-16. 

Post match and Katrien decides to take the train home after reading Bradshaw's guide. Sadly it wasn't the one that Michael Portillo uses for his TV series but instead one written by former CEO Steve Bradshaw. Unlike its Portillo counterpart it falls short of good advice and fails to suggest avoiding travelling back to the metropolis with a bunch of disgruntled fans.

Sunday 18^th January -  still no announcement of What A Guy’s work permit being granted. Last week’s feeling of euphoria is somewhat dampened but in Roly we trust so a whole host of players are expected in SE7 in the next few days and will no doubt arrive in sync with said permit.  

Monday 19^th January – Much high-fiving in Floyd Road as the permit arrives ! The mood quickly subsides when it turns out to be What A Guy’s parking permit. Never mind, a permit’s a permit and it clearly indicates that long vision the Uncle Roly’s cronies told us about. 

Tuesday 20^th January –  Still no sign of a work permit but a Spurs player arrives on loan. Rumours circulate of some players wanting to leave. Clearly this is another knock-on effect of the delay in processing What A Guy's work permit. The players are frustrated at not being able to have another training session following last week's success. Bloody, bloody Home Office.......the ba**ards !

Wednesday 21^st January – Still no sign of What A Guy’s work permit and the matter is raised by Ed Milliband during PMQs. The Prime Minister reveals that Gareth Chilcott is delaying things. Bloody egg-chaser interfering with football matters ! Rumours that it won’t be produced before the General Election are greeted with much dismay in South East London.

Thursday 22nd January - Oh joy be unconfined ! Finally, the work permit is granted ! Let the master go to work ! Expectations soar for a barnstorming performance in the Black Country and the first 3 points under the new head coach.

Next week :- We reminisce as we recall those bygone days when football blogs used to write about matters on the pitch. How quaint !